George Dennehy
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George Dennehy Blog

A More Confident Me

5/5/2016

9 Comments

 
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Throughout my whole life, one of the biggest things that's held me back is my own lack of self-confidence. Nothing screams "you're a weirdo" like being out in public and always being stared at. I'll be honest, it's pretty unnerving being out to eat and seeing people out of my peripheral glancing over with a look of disgust. Or walking around at the mall and seeing people eye me down as I walk past them. 

Dealing with people's stares makes it easy to look at myself negatively. To me, I see myself through the way other people see me, and that's the problem. It's so easy for me to become self conscious about not having arms when someone looks at me weird or whispers something about me as I pass them by. How interesting it is that we care so much of what strangers think of us. It's a dangerous cycle to fall into as we live our lives, and I am one of the biggest victims of this. 

Eventually I had to decide to change they way I think and act out in public, because the more I noticed all the little stares and whispers, the more dark my heart became; the more negative I viewed myself which in turn led to a depressed and lonely me. 

I believe that the less we care what the world thinks of our appearance, the more free we will feel. The fact that we as humans care so much of strangers' opinion of the way we appear is silly to me, but all the more real. Confidence is one of those feelings we all want to have, we all need to have. If you ask me, it starts with us learning to live in the bodies that we're born with. The way we look is a part of who we are, and we should never be ashamed of that. I know it's so much easier said than done, and I am far from truly getting there. Who knows, maybe we can never fully get there, because we will always have our bad moments. But I know that we can always make positive strides to a more confident and joyful version of ourselves. 

I'll leave you with this; We are who we are, we look the way we look. We can't change what can never be changed. The best thing we can do is to accept who we are, pay no mind to stranger's opinions of the way we look, and to keep our perseverance to be always moving forward as confident and happy versions of us!
9 Comments
Barbara Guitard
5/5/2016 11:45:03 pm

Thank you for sharing my brother in Jesus it is not important what people may think what counts the most is what Jesus thinks and in Jesus eyes you are beautiful my brother I love your music I am great full for the way you shared you story God bless you and your family and keep up the good work my brother in Jesus amen your Christians friends Barbar and family 😀

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Lisa Cary
5/6/2016 07:56:59 am

George,
Thank you for sharing! It is a real struggle for many people, feeling self conscious around others or out in public. In your situation, I think many people may not understand how you are able to do all that you can do; it is very incredible how you are so self sufficient. I want to encourage you to keep your chin up in these situations when you feel uncomfortable. Try to relax, take some deep breaths and continue working on radical acceptance of ourselves and of how others may respond to us. It can be unnerving if people stare and talk among themselves. I'm thinking that most people who do that are just in amazement. You are a gift and such a blessing to all who know you and who have heard your incredible story.


When I first met you and your brother at your mom's home, in 2007, I didn't know what to think because I had never seen or met anyone who had no arms. So I was puzzled, wondered how you both did things and what life might be like for you. When you all came to the table for an bedtime snack and put your feet on the table I was confused wondering why feet were allowed on the table. Then when I saw both of you using your feet to serve your dishes and eat, I was really surprised and blown away by how you can do that. I remember feeling excited
to see how our bodies can adapt and compensate. As my exchange student and I drove home, we talked about the experience of meeting you and your brother, our initial reactions and then our reactions after we spent some time with you. Overall, we grew and were stretched in our thinking, understanding and acceptance of what we initially did not understand. Over the years, I've watched you continue to grow and reach out to others to educate them and people get excited about knowing you and sharing about your story and your music. You have a beautiful family and are so blessed.

So maybe if people are looking, staring and or talking, maybe they are processing what they are seeing and trying to understand how you can do so much. I think most people try to imagine what life might be like from their point of view and have difficulty understanding. But you and your brother have been learned from birth to adapt and you both do well.

Radical acceptance of self and others without judging self or others will help in reducing the negative thoughts and feelings.

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Maya
5/6/2016 08:25:39 am

Thank you for sharing this! I remember seeing the story of you and your family. You have had a lot of battles to face, and you keep winning them, by the grace of God! You are an inspiration to me. If you know of Tony Melendez, he inspired me when I was very young.
My daughter has cerebral palsy and people stare at her when we are out. I find if I talk with them and engage them in a way that takes the distance away, it helps. Still painful sometimes.

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Louisa link
5/6/2016 09:41:58 am

George...the first time our family discovered who you were and what you are doing with your life--we stood amazed at how God was evidently working in your life and how you had taken something some people who would sit down and give up on and became an incredible overcomes! God takes what we have walked through and uses it for His glory....we love your testimony! Keep focused on the Lord and the rest will all fall away.
Love, The Lowmans-NH

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Tommy
5/6/2016 10:26:28 am

I know where your coming from. I have MD and real close to needing a wheelchair. Everyone around me has said I need to be using it . But I refuse to, that's giving up to me. I'm 56 and have a 9 yr old son and 8 yr daughter. I go with them everywhere. My kids get angry when someone looks at me funny or if a kid might say something about the way I walk. My son at 9 is a 2nd degree black belt and a level 1 instructor in Teakwondo. I firmly believe that by me not giving up, shows him to never give up on yourself. It's awesome what you are doing and teaching people. Most of all being comfortable with yourself and keep going. Never give up on yourself. Keep up the good work.

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Maggie
5/6/2016 08:14:49 pm

George, I think people are looking because you are different. It's human nature. They probably are thinking ,"Hey look at that guy with no arms"! We all have differences and obstacles to overcome.

God is using you in such a mighty way. Next time people stare....say to yourself...."They realize what a great and cool person that God created me to be!" Be strong and stay courageous! You are awesome!

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Patricia Lessard
5/6/2016 10:59:43 pm

George, I remember the first day I ever saw you. You were seated with a cello on the stage at the high school. When you started to play with your feet I t took my breath away. You were focused on playing your music, and the music was glorious. I have only ever seen you as a very gifted musician since that day, many years ago. Thank you for your music and for your insights. You have a powerful voice.

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Susie Donnelly
5/7/2016 06:00:01 pm

Hi George,

I've thought about this a bit, being the grandmother of I., whom you've known since childhood and shares your anatomical uniqueness. I noticed yesterday, when I went in the store with her (and her brothers and sisters) how people continued staring, even after we had passed. I think people are curious creatures, and naturally interested in anyone who is different in any way. They also would stare if a person dressed in an unexpected way (a beautiful, formal gown in Walmart or a man in a turban and traditional attire from southern India at a Richmond mall). I wonder how much of the impulse to stare is out of pure curiosity, rather than critical judgement. Celebrities or an average looking person with a service dog would get the same response. Monkeys and apes do the same thing in the wild when something/someone is put in their environment that is unfamiliar. I can see how you'd grow weary of this (rude behaving) attention you get from people's natural draw to the "out-of-the-ordinary." You, dear George, are out-of-the-ordinary for so many wonderful invisible reasons that I hope others will see. God give you the continuing courage to use what God has given you in pursuit of His glory. I feel so proud of you, and praise the LORD for the way you follow Him.
Love, Mrs. D.

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    Motivational Speaker & Musician with a positive outlook on life. Viewing challenges as opportunities and not set backs. 



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