-Are you mad at your birth family for giving you up for adoption?
-Since you have met your biological family, have you decided who you consider your real family to be?
-My son/daughter adopted from _____ wants to track down their birth family, but I don't want them to because I am afraid that will cause tension, what should I do?
-Was it hard meeting your birth family?
Those are only a few, and all of those are actual questions I've been asked in front of audiences of hundreds/thousands. I won't be answering each question here, what I really wanted to do is hopefully offer some personal thoughts about my adoption and the questions as a whole.
I really do feel honored that people look up to me enough to seek my council when it comes to something as amazing and important as adoption. But here's the thing, I feel like the advice I give come from a place of personal experience. I don't know if there is a "correct" answer for a lot of these deep questions that are raised. When I'm giving advice, I try to stress the fact of "This is how it is for me". This is especially true when the subject of meeting my biological family comes up. Because personally, I always did want to meet them and know them, because they are my family too. But what is in my heart may not be in someone else's, and that's okay!
We are all different, us orphan folk. We all come from different places with different stories, and even baggage. I will always do my best to give the most solid advice I can when I'm asked these questions, even though they do come from a place of personal experience and feeling.
Talking about someone's adoption with them should be taken with care. They may or may not be open to talking deep into it, if at all.
I always say it, I am an open book. I like to answer any questions anyone has, just remember that my advice and answers I give are reaped from of my own personal journey :)